In a loving, healthy relationship you’re meant to share everything, right?
Your deepest, darkest secrets, your sexual desires, your embarrassing habits – but what about your passwords? Do we really want our partners to have access to our online profiles, emails, banking, social media?
And what happens when a relationship goes sour? Trust is an enormous part of a successful relationship, but there has to be a line. You know that nervous feeling you get when someone uses your phone? What could they click on? Will they accidentally see a private photo or text they weren’t supposed to?
What if you had that feeling all of the time?
Sharing Your Password – Sign of trust
It used to be when you had a key to the other person’s home – now it is when you swap mobile phone pin numbers. Sharing passwords is a way of mutually saying that you trust each other. The New York Times published a piece saying,
“teenagers are giving each other passwords to their social media and the passcode to their phones as a sign of their devotion to each other. It’s a sort of modern-day giving of a class ring.”
Not only teens, rather most of the internet users who are married or who are in relationships have shared passwords with their partners.
Love does not mean controlling or spying on another person. It’s important that you don’t try to and knowing that spying and putting unfair limits on him isn’t healthy.
You may feel like you hold the power by holding a password, unfortunately, you don’t. If people really want to cheat, they will find a way. The best way to prevent cheating is to talk about it with your partner. Set your boundaries by being honest about your personal definition of cheating.
Ignorance is bliss
Imagine for a moment that things went ugly with your partner.
Would you really want your ex to have access to thousands of photos, conversations, videos, and more that they could use against you? Letting your passwords fall into the wrong hands could be catastrophic – and it might be just a matter of time before your other half becomes the owner of those wrong hands.
Love someone deeply, intensely, but still preserve certain elements of your life that are just for you. It helps you keep a sense of self-identity, and protects you if the relationship breaks down. If your partner is insistent that they want to know your passwords, want access to your accounts and emails, you have to ask yourself – why?
Demanding access to every facet of your online presence is a definite red flag, and never a good foundation for a functional partnership.
Risks Of Sharing Passwords
Sharing passwords and logins can be good as it establishes trust and convenience, but it can also be extremely risky.
For instance, a partner could seem trustworthy at first (when you give them your passwords), but they could easily use those passwords to commit identity theft, make unwarranted purchases/build up a large amount of debt, catch a virus on devices, etc.
There’s also a very real risk that your partner could use their access to your accounts to get revenge against you in the event of a breakup.
Sharing can be caring
Although there are definitely risks involved, if you’re smart about it, sharing passwords with your partner doesn’t have to end badly.
Don’t give just anyone your passwords: make sure to take time to really get to know your partner and establish trust before giving them access to your personal devices or accounts.
Some people literally share everything and enjoy living that way, and some like having that part of their life which is separate from their partner.
How To Set Healthy Boundaries About Online Privacy
- The key to setting healthy online privacy boundaries is good communication.
- Talk to each other about online use and what it means to your relationship.
- Discuss the level of boundary you both feel is comfortable and go with that.
- Trust one another to not overstep each other’s boundaries. If one of you does overstep, then have another conversation about boundaries and judge whether or not the relationship is worthwhile.”
Social media can make us all feel paranoid from time to time, but having that little four-digit code can make a world of difference. If you do find yourself sneaking off to peruse your other half’s Twitter, it might be time to ask yourself why you feel the need to do that.
Pros
- An Extension of Trust
- This is a double-edged sword.
- Partners share passwords because they trust each other.
- Most passwords are exchanged after infidelity.
Cons
- Ignorance is bliss.
- The Little you know, the better you are.
- To Protect Yourself
Have a separate identity
Love has a way of confusing even the most intelligent people. Emotions do not necessarily represent logic. When in love you may feel so good that you want to share every single aspect of your life with a significant other. Big Mistake!
Ladies especially need to understand that men stay in relationships because they find you mysterious. When you finally become an open book, you will be as dull as dishwater, and they will move on to the next interesting woman.
Men are hunters and the hunt should not stop even after marriage. Men will value you if you are not an easy one.
Keep something for the imagination…..His imagination….most important.
Sharing social media passwords are just a smokescreen of real problems we are running away from. If you are sharing your social media passwords for convenience, good. If it’s to stalk and monitor your partner and feel some false sense of control, then prepare to change your password the very second you break up.
But before everything, ask yourself….Why do you really want that password? Why can’t you just talk about the trust issues?
