What Should You Look For In A Partner?

N ice eyes? A great smile? A quirky sense of humor?

There are a lot of different things that might make you attracted to someone. But having a healthy relationship with your partner is about more than attraction, it requires respect, trust, and open communication.

Choosing a life partner is the most important decision you will ever make: far more crucial than choosing a job , house, or group of friends. All the decisions you make will be together , you’ll have to sleep next to them every night and you’ll still have to love them when you’re both old and wrinkly.

However, no person is perfect, but here are some key qualities to look for in a partner:

Choose someone for their invisible qualities

Choose someone for the feelings they evoke in you , for the quality of their character and soul . Not for their looks, their professional accolades, their paycheck.

All of this will fade and change with time. So focus on what’s more critical: the quality and content of their character , for the radiance of their soul, for how you feel when you’re around them, how they treat you, what you could notice and know about them if you were blind and could not see.

Choose someone who makes you laugh “Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh everyday...Ah!! now that’s a real treat.”

Pick a partner who can help you laugh at yourself, at them, at the ridiculousness of life, who can crack you up even on your grumpiest morning. Humor makes life feel better and a partner who can make you laugh is a wonderful quality in a lifelong mate.

Someone who is happy to just hang out, have fun, and laugh with you is someone worth sticking with. A lighthearted person can be well worth getting serious with.

Choose someone who is a good friend If this person were not your lover, would you want them to be your friend?

Do you admire and respect how this person shows up in their other friendships? When the fires of passion comes down in your relationship when you’re sick when you’re recovering from a surgery or ailment when you’re stuck on a ridiculously long road trip together, can you appreciate the friendship you have with this person?

Flirting and romance is a slice of the pie of relationship. Friendship with the other person is, perhaps, an even bigger slice.

Choose someone who is a good forgiver

Relationships take a lot of hard work and you will both inevitably mess up, hurt each other, make mistakes , and otherwise generally behave like jerks to each other from time to time.

So choose a life partner who can accept your apologies after you mess up, who can move past arguments with you, who can forgive you for not being your kindest self sometimes. Messing up in a relationship is inevitable. It’s the repair, the willingness to forgive and come back together again, that counts.

Choose someone who isn’t afraid of tough stuff of life

Over the course of a life together, you will both inevitably age and you will possibly grow ill, lose your loved ones, adjust your lifestyle, experience changes in your body and mind’s abilities, see each other miserable, cranky, and probably throwing up and heartsick more than once.

Choose someone who is open to feedback

One of the things to look for in a partner is an openness to feedback. Not only should your partner be interested in changing his or her own self-limiting behaviors , but he or she should be open to hearing what you have to say.

Open and honest communication is vital to sustaining a close relationship. When a person puts up a wall that says, “I am unwilling to listen and unwilling to change,” there is really little room for growth on both your parts. By being resilient and hearing each other out, they construct a solid foundation for a workable relationship that is sure to evolve over time.

Choose someone who doesn’t play games

When it comes to choosing a serious partner who’s going to be there forever, you should not wonder if they actually like you. The right person will put their cards on the table, even if it means risking getting hurt.

While deception is generally frowned upon, lying is sadly common in many relationships. Even when the truth is hard to take, it’s in your best interest to really know your partner. Someone who hides aspects of themselves can leave you feeling insecure and mistrusting.

Choose someone who is respectful and sensitive A reliable, solid partner will never leave you wondering where you stand.

One of the most valuable qualities to look for in a partner is respect. When you find someone who encourages you to be yourself, you can feel secure in your relationship, yet independent within yourself.

When someone appreciates you and takes an interest in the things you are passionate about, you can share life with this person, while continuing to pursue your unique interests.

Choose someone who is Independent

When the first few exciting dates are over, and you’re comfortable enough to be in your pajamas together eating crinkly chips , having a solid friendship to rely on is everything.

Attempting to merge your identity with someone else is not only bad for you but bad for the relationship. By maintaining your individuality: enjoying separate interests along with interests you share with your partner, keeping your outside friendships, and always trying new things, you keep romance and attraction alive.

Choose someone who is Physically Affectionate

Sure, every day can’t be Valentine’s Day, but the occasional bunch of flowers, meal out or even peck on the cheek can make all the difference in the world to a lasting relationship – and never forget why you got together in the first place.

This is what drives most couples together in the first place – and even after you’ve seen each other pee, watched each other cry at "The Notebook" and had a few too many pizzas on the sofa together, it is crucial to keep the spark alive and make time for sex. Your sexuality is a part of you that shouldn’t fade with time.

Keeping your feelings alive means expressing them verbally and physically.

Tips to Healthy Relationship

You don't need perfect teeth and broad shoulders when you're 70 years old. You should be looking for someone that genuinely respects you and makes you laugh and is kind.

It’s not always easy, but everyone deserves a healthy relationship! Look for someone who:

Treats you with respect. Doesn’t make fun of things you like or want to do. Never puts you down. Doesn’t get angry if you spend time with your friends or family. Isn’t excessively negative. They are comfortable around your friends and family. Is proud of your accomplishments and successes. Is caring and honest. Doesn’t threaten you or make you feel scared. Understands the importance of healthy relationships.

It’d be great to be with someone and say, “Y ou know, I’ve always loved the night sky” to which they reply , “Hey why don’t we drive out to see the stars next weekend?” Or if you tell them, “Hey let’s go zip lining in Thailand!” They’ll ask, “Let’s make it happen, how much should we budget and when should we go?”

Ultimately, choose a partner whose goodness and ways of being in the world inspires you to be better yourself . Choose someone who brings out and strengthens parts of you that you may not have known existed.